As a parent, the safety and wellbeing of your child is of utmost importance. Unfortunately, it is a sad reality that children can become targets of predatory behavior. It is vital that we learn of child safety tips and teach our children about stranger danger and predator defense so that they can protect themselves and stay safe.
First and foremost, it is important to educate your child about the lures that child predators use. The FBI has identified the top 6 lures used by child predators. It is essential to explain these lures to your children so that they can recognize and avoid them.
- Helpless lure, where the predator approaches the child by asking for help, such as carrying boxes to his car or finding a lost dog or child.
- Affection lure, where the predator uses friendly chat to build trust and friendship.
- Gift-giving lure, where the predator gives the child candy, toys, money, or other gifts to build trust.
- Messenger lure, where the predator tricks the child by telling them that their Mommy was in a car accident and that they must go with them or that their mom asked them to pick them up.
- Info lure, where the predator knows the child’s name, parent’s name, or other information about the child, making the child believe that they can trust them.
- Authority lure, where the predator uses their position as a teacher, clergy, policeman, or adult authority figure to command abuse.
It is also important to teach your child to yell for help if they feel threatened or uncomfortable. Most abductions happen very quietly, so it is crucial to let your child know that they need to attract attention by yelling “HELP” to let other people know that they are in danger.
Role-playing is another effective way to reinforce safety rules with your child. Pretend to be a stranger at the door or a stranger trying to pick your child up from school or the mall. Teach your child that it is okay to say “NO” to adults, but not okay to say “no” to mom and dad.
In addition to teaching our children safety measures to protect from abductions its important to remember that most child abuse cases do not happen from strangers or “mean looking people”. It is a myth that bad people always look mean and scary. Predators often work hard to act friendly and nice. They can be friends of the family, neighbors, or even relatives – not strangers. It is crucial to teach your child that they should never let their guard down just because someone seems nice.
Another important topic to discuss with your child is the bathing suit rule. Show your child a bathing suit and explain that under it is their private zone. Teach them that no one should ever touch their private zone or ask them to touch someone else’s private zone.
As a parent, there are several things you can do to help keep your child safe when they are not under your supervision. I call this “pre-game chat”. Before going to the mall or dropping your child off at a friend’s house, review safety rules and the bathing suit rule with your child. Additionally, always do a friendly and calm conversational interview your child after they have spent time with a babysitter, at a friend’s house, or when returning from camp. (“Post-game chat”)
It is also important to supervise your child and not put them in situations where they are not old enough or skilled enough to make choices. Never allow your child to be alone with another adult, even if you feel like you can trust that person. Almost all child abuse happens in one-on-one situations. For instance, our martial arts schools have a “two deep” policy where a child can never be alone with an adult. The parent or other adults must also be present. That policy should be in place every activity your child participates in.
Finally, have your child enroll in a self-defense class. Youth martial arts can teach your child to get away from a predator by any means necessary, including punching, kicking, scratching, and biting. National Karate offers a free self-defense course to children and youth as a community service. Take advantage of that.
In conclusion, learning additional child safety tips and teaching your child about stranger danger and predator defense is essential for their safety and wellbeing. Discuss the lures that child predators use, the bathing suit rule, and the importance of yelling for help. Role-play with your child, supervise them, and never allow them to be alone with another adult. Enroll your child in a youth martial arts class that teaches self-defense for kids so they can learn how to protect themselves. Remember, if you found this information helpful, please share it with a friend.
by C. Nelson
