Black Belts Started as White Belts…they just Never Quit! (Training our youth to be achievers, not quitters.)

As an instructor I frequently hear this from parents; “When my son/daughter first joined karate they were so committed and now they sometimes complain when it’s time to go to class. Should I let them quit?”

The fact is that at sometime between White Belt and Black Belt most everyone will go through a dry spell where they question their desire to continue in their training. Getting a Black Belt is a long and difficult process and in today’s instant gratification culture most people are not used to working through the dry spells.

I believe the following will convince you that you should be doing every thing you can to encourage your child to achieve a National Karate Black Belt – and NOT QUIT!

Q: Sometimes my child complains when it’s time to go to Karate. Does that mean they want to quit?

A: As and Instructor, I look for 3 things:

1. When I ask a child, “Do you want to be a Black Belt?”, and they say, “Yes”.
2. I observe that they are having fun in class.
3. When they earn a stripe or belt they are happy or proud.

If the answer to these 3 questions is “Yes” then they don’t really want to quit. They are just being a kid and looking to get by with the least amount of work. In this case, I recommend that you enforce their class attendance. In my house we told our kids that there will be a consequence for complaining. If you complain, you get extra chores. If kids think there is a possibility of getting there way from complaining they will be relentless. So don’t cave in!

Q: I can’t make my child go to karate – can I?

A: Why not? You make your child go to school. You make your child eat vegetables. If you believe that karate will make your child more disciplined, more confident, safer, and become an achiever, then it is worth making them go until they get their Black Belt.

Q: Shouldn’t my child push him/herself to achieve a Black Belt?

A: Self-discipline. Children are not born with self-discipline; they develop it over years of training. Until children develop their own self-discipline, they need their parents, teachers and karate instructors to be their discipline for them.

Children, need their parents to make sure they do their homework, to make sure they brush their teeth, to make sure they go to karate class. Left to their own, most kids will not be able to accomplish great things, but if we push them a little, someday they will develop their own self-discipline and self-motivation. And when that happens, you can celebrate!

Q: My child just doesn’t stick to activities. Is that a bad thing?

A: Habit. Kids will choose the path of least resistance. At some point the excitement will start to give way to the fact that it is a lot of work to achieve greatness. Quitting is a habit. Achievement is a habit. Which quality do you want you child to have? How many times have I heard, “My child quit baseball, quit scouts and now he wants to quit karate.” Setting a goal for Black Belt and sticking to it is a great way to create the habit of achievement!

Safety. We live in a dangerous world and we need to equip our children with the skills necessary to protect themselves. For instance I feel it is critical that my children learn to swim so they can protect themselves if they ever fall in water. How bad would I feel if my child fell in a lake and drown because they did not know how to swim. While teaching them to swim does not guarantee they will never drown, at least we have done all we can do to prevent an accidental drowning.

The same goes for self-defense. They need to learn to defend themselves so when they go off to college and are not under my protection they will be able save themselves. Again, while being a black belt will not guarantee their safety, at least we did all that we can do to give them the skills to protect themselves.

Non-negotiables. In our family we have decided that there are some important life skills that our children need to have mastered before we send them out on their own. Developing these skills are non negotiable.

1. They need to go to school. (Trust me, if I didn’t make them go, they wouldn’t.)
2. They need to learn to swim (Mentioned earlier.)
3. They need to go to church and receive their faith training.
4. They need to be in Karate until they graduate from High School (for reasons mentioned earlier.)

The rest they get to pick on their own. They can decide what sports they want to play, if they want to play a musical instrument or not, or what clubs they want to be in. But they don’t have a say in the four non-negotiables. They are kids. They are not qualified to choose the direction of their life.

Parent Support. I have never had a child or youth student get a Black Belt without their parents full support and encouragement. The kids who have parents who drop their child off and never come watch a karate class will never get a Black Belt. Getting a Black Belt is too hard for children to do on their own. They need support and encouragement to achieve great things. Don’t set you child up for failure by not giving them the support and encouragement they need.

Our Part. And for our part I can guarantee that all of our instructors and staff will do what ever they can to make karate class fun, help motivate our students, teach with energy and passion and to assist our families in achieving greatness! Bring them to class and we will do the rest!

Scheduling Tip:

Most kids have a very difficult time making transitions. Especially from fun to work. Karate is fun – but it is also work. The real value of karate is not for entertainment but to teach self-discipline, good work habits and achievement. If your child is watching TV or playing video games or playing with their friends, and then you say “OK. Time to go to Karate!” You will probably get a negative response.

Our family has learned to schedule homework or chores on karate days before class. When my daughter is doing homework or unloading the dish washer she is more apt to give a positive response to going to karate.

Cristian Nelson
6th Degree Master